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new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第23部分

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he leaned over the 
handlebars; head low; face forward; his shiny hair whipping against the russet 
skin of his back。 My eyes 
narrowed enviously。 I was sure I hadn't looked like that on my motorcycle。 
I was surprised at how far I'd gone。 I could barely see Jacob in the distance 
when he finally got to the 
truck。 He threw the bike into the bed and sprinted to the driver's side。 
I really didn't feel bad at all as he coaxed my truck to a deafening roar in 
his hurry to get back to me。 My 
head stung a little; and my stomach was uneasy; but the cut wasn't serious。 
Head wounds just bled more 
than most。 His urgency wasn't necessary。 
Jacob left the truck running as he raced back to me; wrapping his arm around 
my waist again。 
〃Okay; let's get you in the truck。〃 
〃I'm honestly fine;〃 I assured him as he helped me in。 〃Don't get worked up。 
It's just a little blood。〃 
〃Just a lot of blood;〃 I heard him mutter as he went back for my bike。 
〃Now; let's think about this for a second;〃 I began when he got back in。 〃If 
you take me to the ER like 
this; Charlie is sure to hear about it。〃 I glanced down at the sand and dirt 
caked into my jeans。 
〃Bella; I think you need stitches。 I'm not going to let you bleed to death。〃 
〃I won't;〃 I promised。 〃Let's just take the bikes back first; and then we'll 
make a stop at my house so I 
can dispose of the evidence before we go to the hospital。〃 
〃What about Charlie?〃 
〃He said he had to work today。〃 
〃Are you really sure?〃 
〃Trust me。 I'm an easy bleeder。 It's not nearly as dire as it looks。〃 
Jacob wasn't happy—his full mouth turned down in an uncharacteristic frown—
but he didn't want to get 
me in trouble。 I stared out the window; holding his ruined shirt to my head; 
while he drove me to Forks。 
The motorcycle was better than I'd dreamed。 It had served its original 
purpose。 I'd cheated—broken my 
promise。 I'd been needlessly reckless。 I felt a little less pathetic now that 
the promises had been broken 
on both sides。 
And then to discover the key to the hallucinations! At least; I hoped I had。 I 
was going to test the theory 
as soon as possible。 Maybe they'd get through with me quickly in the ER; and I 
could try again tonight。 
Racing down the road like that had been amazing。 The feel of the wind in my 
face; the speed and the 
freedom it reminded me of a past life; flying through the thick forest 
without a road; piggyback while he 
ran—I stopped thinking right there; letting the memory break off in the 
sudden agony。 I flinched。 
〃You still okay?〃 Jacob checked。 
〃Yeah。〃 I tried to sound as convincing as before。 
〃By the way;〃 he added。 〃I'm going to disconnect your foot brake tonight。〃 
At home; I went to look at myself in the mirror first thing; it was pretty 
gruesome。 Blood was drying in 
thick streaks across my cheek and neck; matting in my muddy hair。 I examined 
myself clinically; 
pretending the blood was paint so it wouldn't upset my stomach。 I breathed 
through my mouth; and was 
fine。 
I washed up as well as I could。 Then I hid my dirty; bloody clothes in the 
bottom of my laundry basket; 
putting on new jeans and a button…up shirt (that I didn't have to pull over my 
head) as carefully as I could。 
I managed to do this one…handed and keep both garments blood…free。 
〃Hurry up;〃 Jacob called。 
〃Okay; okay;〃 I shouted back。 After making sure I left nothing incriminating 
behind me; I headed 
downstairs。 
〃How do I look?〃 I asked him。 
〃Better;〃 he admitted。 
〃But do I look like I tripped in your garage and hit my head on a hammer?〃 
〃Sure; I guess so。〃 
〃Let's go then。〃 
Jacob hurried me out the door; and insisted on driving again。 We were halfway 
to the hospital when I 
realized he was still shirtless。 
I frowned guiltily。 〃We should have grabbed you a jacket。〃 
〃That would have given us away;〃 he teased。 〃Besides; it's not cold。〃 
〃Are you kidding?〃 I shivered and reached out to turn the heat on。 
I watched Jacob to see if he was just playing tough so I wouldn't worry; but 
he looked fortable 
enough。 He had one arm over the back of my seat; though I was huddled up to 
keep warm。 
Jacob really did look older than sixteen—not quite forty; but maybe older 
than me。 Quil didn't have too 
much on him in the muscle department; for all that Jacob claimed to be a 
skeleton。 The muscles were the 
long wiry kind; but they were definitely there under the smooth skin。 His skin 
was such a pretty color; it 
made me jealous。 
Jacob noticed my scrutiny。 
〃What?〃 he asked; suddenly self…conscious。 
〃Nothing。 I just hadn't realized before。 Did you know; you're sort of 
beautiful?〃 
Once the words slipped out; I worried that he might take my impulsive 
observation the wrong way。 
But Jacob just rolled his eyes。 〃You hit your head pretty hard; didn't you?〃 
〃I'm serious。〃 
〃Well; then; thanks。 Sort of。〃 
I grinned。 〃You're sort of wele。〃 
I had to have seven stitches to c lose the cut on my forehead。 After the sting 
of the local anesthetic; there 
was no pain in the procedure。 Jacob held my hand while Dr。 Snow was sewing; 
and I tried not to think 
about why that was ironic。 
We were at the hospital forever。 By the time I was done; I had to drop Jacob 
off at his home and hurry 
back to cook dinner for Charlie。 Charlie seemed to buy my story about falling 
in Jacob's garage。 After 
all; it wasn't like I hadn't been able to land myself in the ER before with no 
more help than my own feet。 
This night was not as bad as that first night; after I'd heard the perfect 
voice in Port Angeles。 The hole 
came back; the way it always did when I was away from Jacob; but it didn't 
throb so badly around the 
edges。 I was already planning ahead; looking forward to more delusions; and 
that was a distraction。 
Also; I knew I would feel better tomorrow when I was with Jacob again。 That 
made the empty hole and 
the familiar pain easier to bear; relief was in sight。 The nightmare; too; had 
lost a little of its potency。 I was 
horrified by the nothingness; as always; but I was also strangely impatient as 
I waited for the moment that 
would send me screaming into consciousness。 I knew the nightmare had to end。 
The next Wednesday; before I could get home from the ER; Dr。 Gerandy called to 
warn my father that I 
might possibly have a concussion and advised him to wake me up every two hours 
through the night to 
make sure it wasn't serious。 Charlie's eyes narrowed suspiciously at my weak 
explanation about tripping 
again。 
〃Maybe you should just stay out of the garage altogether; Bella;〃 he suggested 
that night during dinner。 
I panicked; worried that Charlie was about to lay down some kind of edict that 
would prohibit La Push; 
and consequently my motorcycle。 And I wasn't giving it up—I'd had the most 
amazing hallucination 
today。 My velvet…voiced delusion had yelled at me for almost five minutes 
before I'd hit the brake too 
abruptly and launched myself into the tree。 I'd take whatever pain that would 
cause me tonight without 
plaint。 
〃This didn't happen in the garage;〃 I protested quickly。 〃We were hiking; and 
I tripped over a rock。〃 
〃Since when do you hike?〃 Charlie asked skeptically。 
〃Working at Newton's was bound to rub off sometime;〃 I pointed out。 〃Spend 
every day selling all the 
virtues of the outdoors; eventually you get curious。〃 
Charlie glared at me; unconvinced。 
〃I'll be more careful;〃 I promised; surreptitiously crossing my fingers under 
the table。 
〃I don't mind you hiking right there around La Push; but keep close to town; 
okay?〃 
〃Why?〃 
〃Well; we've been getting a lot of wildlife plaints lately。 The forestry 
department is going to check into 
it; but for the time being〃 
〃Oh; the big bear;〃 I said with sudden prehension。 〃Yeah; some of the 
hikers ing through 
Newton's have seen it。 Do you think there's really some giant mutated grizzly 
out there?〃 
His forehead creased。 〃There's something。 Keep it close to town; okay?〃 
〃Sure; sure;〃 I said quickly。 He didn't look pletely appeased。 
〃Charlie's getting nosy;〃 I plained to Jacob when I picked him up after 
school Friday。 
〃Maybe we should cool it with the bikes。〃 He saw my objecting expression and 
added; 〃At least for a 
week or so。 You could stay out of the hospital for a week; right?〃 
〃What are we going to do?〃 I griped。 
He smiled cheerfully。 〃What ever you want。〃 
I thought about that for a minute—about what I wanted。 
I hated the idea of losing even my brief seconds of closeness with the 
memories that didn't hurt—the ones 
that came on their own; without me thinking of them consciously。 If I couldn't 
have the bikes; I was going 
to have to find some other avenue to the danger and the adrenaline; and that 
was going to take serious 
thought and creativity。 Doing nothing in the meantime was not appealing。 
Suppose I got depressed again; 
even with Jake? I had to keep occupied。 
Maybe there was some other way; some other recipe some other place。 
The house had been a mistake; certainly。 But his presence must be stamped 
somewhere; somewhere 
other than inside me。 There had to be a place where he seemed more real than 
among all the familiar 
landmarks that were crowded with other human memories。 
I could think of one place where that might hold true。 One place that would 
always belong to him and no 
one else。 A magic place; full of light。 The beautiful meadow I'd seen only 
once in my life; lit by sunshine 
and the sparkle of his skin。 
This idea had a huge potential for backfiring—it might be dangerously 
painful。 My chest ached with 
emptiness even to think of it。 It was hard to hold myself upright; to not give 
myself away。 But surely; there 
of all places; I could hear his voice。 And I'd already told Charlie I was 
hiking 
〃What are you thinking about so hard?〃 Jacob asked。 
〃Well〃 I began slowly。 〃I found this place in the forest once—I came across 
it when I was; um; hiking。 
A little meadow; the most beautiful place。 I don't know if I could track it 
down again on my own。 It 
would definitely take a few tries〃 
〃We could use a pass and a grid pattern;〃 Jacob said with confident 
helpfulness。 〃Do you know 
where you started from?〃 
〃Yes; just below the trailhead where the one…ten ends。 I was going mostly 
south; I think。〃 
〃Cool。 We'll find it。〃 As always; Jacob was game for anything I wanted。 No 
matter how strange it was。 
So; Saturday afternoon; I tied on my new hiking boots—purchased that morning 
using my 
twenty…per…cent…off employee discount for the first time—grabbed my new 
topographical map of the 
Olympic Peninsula; and drove to La Push。 
We didn't get started immediately; first; Jacob sprawled across the living 
room floor—taking up the 
whole room—and; for a full twenty minutes; drew a plicated web across the 
key section of the map 
while I perched on a kitchen chair and talked to Billy。 Billy didn't seem at 
all concerned about our 
proposed hiking trip。 I was surprised that Jacob had told him where we were 
going; given the fuss people 
were making about the bear sightings。 I wanted to ask Billy not to say 
anything about this to Charlie; but I 
was afraid that making the re
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