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new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第41部分

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〃You're silly。 Hunting vampires is fun。 It's the best part of this whole 
mess。〃 
I shook my head。 〃If I'm silly; then you're dangerously unbalanced。〃 
He chuckled。 〃Get some rest; Bella; honey。 You look exhausted。〃 
〃I'lltry。〃 
Charlie honked his horn impatiently。 
〃See you tomorrow;〃 Jacob said。 〃e down first thing。〃 
〃Iwill。〃 
Charlie followed me home。 I paid scant attention to the lights in my rearview 
mirror。 Instead; I wondered 
where Sam and Jared and Embry and Paul were; out running in the night。 I 
wondered if Jacob had joined 
them yet。 
When we got home; I hurried for the stairs; but Charlie was right behind me。 
〃What's going on; Bella?〃 he demanded before I could escape。 〃I thought Jacob 
was part of a gang and 
you two were fighting。〃 
〃We made up。〃 
〃And the gang?〃 
〃I don't know—who can understand teenage boys? They're a mystery。 But I met 
Sam Uley and his 
fiancee; Emily。 The seemed pretty nice to me。〃 I shrugged。 〃Must have all been 
a misunderstanding。〃 
His face changed。 〃I hadn't heard that he and Emily had made it official。 
That's nice。 Poor girl。〃 
〃Do you know what happened to her?〃 
〃Mauled by a bear; up north; during salmon spawning season—horrible accident 
It was more than a year 
ago now。 I heard Sam was really messed up over it。〃 
〃That's horrible;〃 I echoed。 More than a year ago。 I'd bet that meant it had 
happened when there was just 
one werewolf in La Push。 I shuddered at the thought of how Sam must have felt 
every time he looked at 
Emily's face。 
That night; I lay awake for a long time trying to sort through the day。 I 
worked my way backward 
through dinner with Billy; Jacob; and C harlie; to the long afternoon in the 
Blacks' house; waiting 
anxiously to hear something from Jacob; to Emily's kitchen; to the horror of 
the werewolf fight; to talking 
with Jacob on the beach。 
I thought about what Jacob had said early this morning; about hypocrisy。 I 
thought about that for a long 
time。 I didn't like to think that I was a hypocrite; only what was the point 
of lying to myself? 
I curled into a tight ball。 No; Edward wasn't a killer。 Even in his darker 
past; he'd never been a murderer 
of innocents; at least。 
But what if he had been? What if; during the time I that I'd known him; he'd 
been just like any other 
vampire? What if people had been disappearing from the woods; just like now? 
Would that have kept 
me away from him? 
I shook my head sadly。 Love is irrational; I reminded myself。 The more you 
loved someone; the less 
sense anything made。 
I rolled over and tried to think of something else—and I thought of Jacob and 
his brothers; out running in 
the darkness。 I fell asleep imagining the wolves; invisible in the night; 
guarding me from danger。 When I 
dreamed; I stood in the forest again; but I didn't wander。 I was holding 
Emily's scarred hand as we faced 
into the shadows and waited anxiously for our werewolves to e home。
 15。 PRESSURE
IT WAS SPRING BREAK IN FORKS AGAIN。 WHEN I WOKE UP on Monday morning; I lay in 
bed for a few seconds absorbing that。 Last spring break; I'd been hunted by a 
vampire; too。 I hoped this 
wasn't some kind of tradition forming。 
Already I was falling into the pattern of things in La Push。 I'd spent Sunday 
mostly on the beach; while 
Charlie hung out with Billy at the Blacks' house。 I was supposed to be with 
Jacob; but Jacob had other 
things to do; so I wandered alone; keeping the secret from Charlie。 
When Jacob dropped in to check on me; he apologized for ditching me so much。 
He told me his 
schedule wasn't always this crazy; but until Victoria was stopped; the wolves 
were on red alert。 
When we walked along the beach now; he always held my hand。 
This made me brood over what Jared had said; about Jacob involving his 
〃girlfriend。〃 I supposed that that 
was exactly what it looked like from the outside。 As long as Jake and I knew 
how it really was; I 
shouldn't let those kinds of assumptions bother me。 And maybe they wouldn't; 
if I hadn't known that 
Jacob would have loved for things to be what they appeared。 But his hand felt 
nice as it warmed mine; 
and I didn't protest。 
I worked Tuesday afternoon—Jacob followed me on his bike to make sure I 
arrived safely—and Mike 
noticed。 
〃Are you dating that kid from La Push? The sophomore?〃 He asked; poorly 
disguising the resentment in 
his tone。 
I shrugged。 〃Not in the technical sense of the word。 I do spent most of my 
time with Jacob; though。 He's 
my best friend。〃 
Mike's eyes narrowed shrewdly。 〃Don't kid yourself; Bella。 The guy's head over 
heels for you。〃 
〃I know;〃 I sighed。 〃Life is plicated。〃 
〃And girls are cruel;〃 Mike said under his breath。 
I supposed that was an easy assumption to make; too。 
That night; Sam and Emily joined Charlie and me for dessert at Billy's house。 
Emily brought a cake that 
would have won over a harder man than Charlie。 I could see; as the 
conversation flowed naturally 
through a range of casual subjects; that any worries Charlie might have 
harbored about gangs in La Push 
were being dissolved。 
Jake and I skipped out early; to get some privacy。 We went out to his garage 
and sat in the Rabbit。 
Jacob leaned his head back; his face drawn with exhaustion。 
〃You need some sleep; Jake。〃 
〃I'll get around to it。〃 
He reached over and took my hand。 His skin was blazing on mine。 
〃Is that one of those wolf things?〃 I asked him。 〃The heat; I mean。〃 
〃Yeah。 We run a little warmer than the normal people。 About one…oh…eight; one
…oh…nine。 I never get cold 
anymore。 I could stand like this〃—he gestured to his bare torso—〃in a 
snowstorm and it wouldn't bother 
me。 The flakes would turn to rain where I stood。〃 
〃And you all heal fast—that's a wolf thing; too?〃 
〃Yeah; wanna see? It's pretty cool。〃 His eyes flipped open and he grinned。 He 
reached around me to the 
glove partment and dug around for a minute。 His hand came out with a 
pocketknife。 
〃No; I do not want to see!〃 I shouted as soon as I realized what he was 
thinking。 〃Put that away!〃 
Jacob chuckled; but shoved the knife back where it belonged。 〃Fine。 It's a 
good thing we heal; though。 
You can't go see just any doctor when you're running a temperature that should 
mean you're dead。〃 
〃No; I guess not。〃 I thought about that for a minute。 〃 And being so big—
that's part of it? Is that why 
you're all worried about Quil?〃 
〃That and the fact that Quil's grandfather says the kid could fry an egg on 
his forehead。〃 Jacob's face 
turned hopeless。 〃It won't be long now。 There's no exact age it just builds 
and builds and then 
suddenly—〃 He broke off; and it was a moment before he could speak again。 
〃Sometimes; if you get 
really upset or something; that can trigger it early。 But I wasn't upset about 
anything—I was happy。〃 He 
laughed bitterly。 〃Because of you; mostly。 That's why it didn't happen to me 
sooner。 Instead it just kept 
on building up inside me—I was like a time bomb。 You know what set me off? I 
got back from that 
movie and Billy said I looked weird。 That was all; but I just snapped。 And 
then I—I exploded。 I almost 
ripped his face off—my own father!〃 He shuddered; and his face paled。 
〃Is it really bad; Jake?〃 I asked anxiously; wishing I had some way to help 
him。 〃Are you miserable?〃 
〃No; I'm not miserable;〃 he told me。 〃Not anymore。 Not now that you know。 That 
was hard; before。〃 He 
leaned over so that his cheek was resting on top of my head。 
He was quiet for a moment; and I wondered what he was thinking about。 Maybe I 
didn't want to know。 
〃What's the hardest part?〃 I whispered; still wishing I could help。 
〃The hardest part is feeling out of control;〃 he said slowly。 〃Feeling like 
I can't be sure of myself—like 
maybe you shouldn't be around me; like maybe nobody should。 Like I'm a monster 
who might hurt 
somebody。 You've seen Emily。 Sam lost control of his temper for just one 
second and she was 
standing too close。 And now there's nothing he can ever do to put it right 
again。 I hear his thoughts—I 
know what that feels like 
〃Who wants to be a nightmare; a monster? 
〃And then; the way it es so easily to me; the way I'm better at it than the 
rest of them—does that 
make me even less human than Enbry or Sam? Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm 
losing myself。〃 
〃Is it hard? To find yourself again?〃 
〃At first;〃 he said。 〃It takes some practice to phase back and forth。 But it's 
easier tor me。〃 
〃Why?〃 I wondered。 
〃Because Ephraim Black was my father's grandfather; and Quil Ateara was my 
mother's grandfather。〃 
〃Quil?〃 I asked in confusion。 
〃His great…grandfather;〃 Jacob clarified。 〃The Quil you know is my second 
cousin。〃 
〃But why does it matter who your great…grandfathers are?〃 
〃Because Ephraim and Quil were in the last pack。 Levi Uley was the third。 It's 
in my blood on both sides。 
I never had a chance。 Like Quil doesn't have a chance。〃 
His expression was bleak。 
〃What's the very best part?〃 I asked; hoping to cheer him up。 
〃The best part;〃 he said; suddenly smiling again; 〃is the speed。〃 
〃Better than the motorcycles?〃 
He nodded; enthusiastic。 〃There's no parison。〃 
〃How fast can you ?〃 
〃Run?〃 he finished my question。 〃Fast enough。 What can I measure it by? We 
caught what was his 
name? Laurent? I imagine that means more to you than it would to someone 
else。〃 
It did mean something to me。 I couldn't imagine that—the wolves running 
faster than a vampire。 When the 
Cullens ran; they all but turned invisible with speed。 
〃So; tell me something I don't know;〃 he said。 〃Something about vampires。 How 
did you stand it; being 
around them? Didn't it creep you out?〃 
〃No;〃 I said curtly。 
My tone made him thoughtful for a moment。 
〃Say; why'd your bloodsucker kill that James; anyway?〃 he asked suddenly。 
〃James was trying to kill me—it was like a game for him。 He lost。 Do you 
remember last spring when I 
was in the hospital down in Phoenix?〃 
Jacob sucked in a breath。 〃He got that close?〃 
〃He got very; very close。〃 I stroked my scar。 Jacob noticed; because he held 
the hand I moved。 
〃What's that?〃 He traded hands; examining my right。 〃This is your funny scar; 
the cold one。〃 He looked at 
it closer; with new eyes; and gasped。 
〃Yes; it's what you think it is;〃 I said。 〃James bit me。〃 
His eyes bulged; and his face turned a strange; sallow color under the russet 
surface。 He looked like he 
was about to be sick。 
〃But if he bit you ? Shouldn't you be ?〃 He choked。 
〃Edward saved me twice;〃 I whispered。 〃He sucked the venom out—you know; like 
with a rattlesnake。〃 
I twitched as the pain lashed around the edges of the hole。 
But I wasn't the only one twitching。 I could feel Jacob's whole body trembling 
next to mine。 Even the car 
shook。 
〃Careful; Jake。 Easy。 Ca in down。〃 
〃Yeah;〃 he panted。 〃Calm。〃 He shook his head back and forth quickly。 After a 
moment; only his hands 
were shaking。 
〃You okay?〃 
〃Yeah; almost。 Tell me something else。 Give me something else to think about。〃 
〃What do you want to know?〃 
〃I don't know。〃 He had his eyes closed; concentrating。 〃The extra stuff I 
guess。 Did any of the other 
Cullens have extra talents? Like th
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